Flies Shagging

Inbetween clients, when the sun is out (and before the leaves from the trees in the park behind me grow and obstruct my vitamin d), I sit in my Peckham patio, watching the nature that surrounds me ….. these flies seem to be happy shagging and were happy with my voyeurism. If you google ‘Shagging Flies’ not much comes up. I love that flies look like they are wearing sun glasses.

In the light of the happy shagging flies and the recent Prince Andrew stuff, I felt it only right and proper to publish my sexual abuse wordsearch. I hope you enjoy (heads up, Prince Andrew doesn’t feature).

Wordsearch

SEXUALABUSESEXUALABUSESEXUALABUSEPOWEABUSESEXUALLOVEWITH

ABUSETRIANGULATIONABUSESEXUALABUSEABUSESEXUAL6SHAMESEXUAL6ABUSEDEATH6LOVESEXUALHATEABUSESEXUALABUSEFATHERSEXUALABUSEMOTHERABUSEBROTHERWATCHEDSISTERSEENABUSESCENEABUSENOTHERDABUSEIMMUNITYSEXUALABUSEsexualabuseUSERABUSEPERSONSAVILLEABUSEROWABUSEOFSEXUALABUSEDARKABUSENIGHTABUSEOFTHESOULABUSEANGELSABUSESOLIDERSABUSESEXUALABUSEMASTURBATINGABUSEFRONTLINEABUSECOCAINESEXUALABUSEDUTYSEXUALABUSETORTUREWORLDSEXUALABUSECOVERABUSEUPSEXUALABUSECOLDABUSENAKEDABUSESTRIPEDABUSERAPEDABUSESEXWORKERSEXUALMINDSEXUALABUSEBODYSEXUALABUSEABUSERFLUTEABUSETEACHERSEXUALABUSEHSEXUALABUSEANDSABUSECHESTSEXUALABUSEGOLDSEXUALABUSEOLDSEXUALABUSEMENBUSSEUXALABUSEBUSINESSABUSEMENBUSABUSEABUSBUSABUSEUSESEXUALABUSEINTRUSIONSEXUALABUSEANGERAGECOURAGESEXUALABUSESURVIVORSEXUALABUSEHEALERSEXUALABUSESLAVEABUSEVICTIMABUSEAWAKENEDABUSERAGEANGERAGECOURAGEFUCKEMFUCKEMFUCKEMTHEYAREDEADWEHAVEWONWEHAVETRUTHWEHAVEGOD

DEADSAVILLEABUSEDONABUSABUSAFUCKINGCHARITYBUS

The Curse

What do you say behind my back?

Do you attack?

Because I’m unvacced (is this how you spell it?) like Novak

What do you say when I don’t wear a mask?

Do you shun?

Like a nun (one of those abusive nuns in 1970’s convent schools, not like the one in The Sound of Music who sings Climb Every Mountain so beautifully… Don’t you ever give up, no ohh.. there’s a brighter day on the other side ..)

What do you say when I break a mandate of restriction?

Do you frown?

And dob me in

Your lockdown

My breakdown

What do you say when I question the figures?

Nothing

What do you say when I ask why this is happening?

Nothing

What do you say when I tell you my gut tells me something was very wrong from the start?

Nothing – for a while then –

You tell me your gut tells you that on this occasion it is right

For the greater good

You tell me you are protecting others and our kids are protecting us too

Is my gut not worth listening to?

No

I try another way because, like the Sound of Music Nun, I don’t give up easily

What do you say, when I say we are living together as unique individuals in a totally different reality?

Nothing

What do you say when my mind jumps about, like ADHD and I can’t speak clearly?

Nothing

Am I allowed to have an attention of a different dimension?

No

Can we have this next year without fear?

No

I can live with your fear

I’ve succeeded for nearly two years

Can you live with my fear?

A society of two tiers

Apocalyptic fear

No

From the start you said I was conspiring fear

Isn’t this just an unveiling?

Do I have a right to question?

Do I?

No

And the media says absolutely not

In fact it says I’m a nasty horrible, stupid, nasty horrid selfish bitch …

I punch myself in the head to hurt myself like I did as a child

That’s what I deserve

Get out all this nonsense out from my head

Cause I’m stupid and horrible and a nasty little bitch …….

The cognitive dissonance hurts

Stop questioning

I’m on the verge

Flying over the cuckoo’s nest

Then I see the Nun

Her words save me

I also have a blessed and exorcised medal of St Benedict

Be as evil as you like in the comments below

I’ll blow

My head for each one

Happy now?

There’s a brighter day on the other side