#Tesco delivery on a Saturday with my husband in the background

img_0593The weekend can’t get much better,  Tesco delivery man bang on time and especially pleased to have his photo taken, in fact he said “I’ve been here lots of times and you’ve never asked me before.”  I explained that I have only been writing my blog for two months so his last visit must have been over two months ago.  We agreed how time flies.

It is lovely to have my husband around, doing domestic things on his computer in the background and thanks to Daisy for the photo and my son for the football noise coming from the TV in the background.  It all sounds so exciting.  I went to see Millwall play a few times in the 90s when I lived on the new Bonamy estate, it was much more pleasant to join in the fun than be cross with the kerfuffle it caused the neighbourhood.  I have been caught short many a time in my life so can excuse the occasional piss in the street.  Once I had to go in the middle of Tower Bridge and discreetly peed down the crack.


Today I had the boiler man and the Tesco delivery man, but unusually Tesco man didn’t want to be photographed so he gave me a free sample of Naked Noodles to compensate.

img_0586Half term and the time to be domestic.  I have made a casserole for the family and a friend.  I have made casseroles before but never been brave enough to put dumplings on.  Today Tesco delivery man brought me Auntie Bessie frozen dumplings, full of shite I’m sure, but if they work, I may have the confidence and feel it worthwhile to make my own at a date in the future.

I have never been confident in the kitchen and this is picked up apon as I leave myself vulnerable for cooking attack, i.e. as serving up saying things like “It’s not very good”, “I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this” etc.  Of course this instantly puts doubt into my consumers who are likely to respond with comments such as “Hmm, it’s okay” or “Pass the ketchup”.

I don’t eat meat, non of us eat meat much, this was supposed to be the family half term treat but unfortunately Tesco didn’t have organic beef and they sent me the Boswell Farm shite, half the price but not good.  I’m hoping my meat eaters won’t know as the meat will be disguised with all sorts of other lovely ingredients and dumplings bobbing up and down as I serve.  Assuming that’s what dumplings do when one serves them, I will see.

If it all goes horribly wrong all is not lost, we can boil up the Naked Noodles.


I hardly noticed that the Tesco delivery man was doing his stuff, I was answering emails like the one below.

img_0555I am happy it is half term.  Below is a poem I was writing while waiting for my last delivery man.  I performed it at the #Klinker club last week, and read it out during a wellbeing discussion I facilitated at Lesoco college.  It is as an example of how concern leads to abrupt response leads to anxiety leads to frustration leads to concerned response on all levels, leads to a lot of time being spent on issues that aren’t issues, demonstrating that we are just all ants milling about, doing our stuff until the next wave of ants take over.

10.43am Daisy has been late – Please respond with the reason

Firstly, I’m glad to hear she got to school, New Cross road is a big scary road, it amazes me that she gets there at all, dodging buses and crossing the Queens road all by herself, she’s so little. I find it scary just driving down it.
Re the reason why she is late, she left on time so there is the possibility that the bus was late or didn’t arrive or was full so she had to wait for another. There is also a possibility that she dropped her very heavy bag that she carries, or that something fell out, she was carrying so much, PE kit, water, large pencil case, books etc. It’s a real shame there is no room in schools for lockers, these children are going to have terrible problems as their little spines grow.
I have just realised, sometimes Daisy gets chatting to the homeless man sat by the bus stop, he could have distracted her and she missed the bus, or maybe she was chatting with a friend and got carried away. Maybe she was actually on the bus and got chatting and carried away and missed her stop, this is only her second week of secondary school, all very new.
I was also wondering if there had been an accident on New Cross Road. I hear ambulance and police sirens regularly and never sure where they end up, there is the possibility that the bus was involved in an accident or behind an accident and had to sit in traffic while other traffic diverted to the bus lane. Then there’s the driver, he or she may have had a psychotic episode, stopped the bus, got off and went to Sainsbury’s or TK Maxx. The bus could have broken down and passengers had to get off and get on the next one.
Sometimes there are people who stop the traffic because they have mental health issues and aren’t now being looked after. In the 1980’s when I was living in Bermondsey one of my neighbours spent all day walking over the same zebra crossing, over and over and over again. Sometimes that caused congestion. He’d been given away by his mother and lived in Barnado’s from the age of 2 and never really settled.
I’m struggling to think of any other reason, but if I do I will email straight back. I really hope this helps and if you get to see Daisy at school today, do please ask her whether I am on the right track with the real reason.
p.s. I was just looking at google travel info and there was a diversion earlier today on Lewisham Way, I’m not sure it would have had a great impact, it would depend on how many minutes she was actually late and where on Lewisham Way. If you would get back to me re the exact timings then I can work out whether this is the reason. I apologize, I should have looked at this first but my phone was on charge and I was eager to respond to you and I only have two sources of internet.
Since I’ve been writing this I have received another email from you re Daisy getting one behaviour point that I now need to discuss with her. The email was unsigned so I really don’t know who to respond to, however, please would you let me know the parameters of a behaviour point and if you are concerned about Daisy’s behaviour then I would appreciate a formal letter and a meeting.






#Tesco delivery done before the sky turned orange.. and it’s the Klinker club tomorrow night

img_0538At the weekend I stayed at my uncle Peter’s.  Uncle Peter has been disabled since 1946 when he contracted Polio.  On arrival I was pleased to find he had a new stair lift installed and sink moved in toilet to make mobility in and out of wheel chair easier.  We chatted about delivery men and how he uses Sainsbury and how good they are in Southampton.  We chatted about Brexit and education and he helped me respond to a ridiculous school email.

My uncle Peter suggested there should be a national competition for the prime minister who has been the most dangerous for our country in the last 40 years.  He suggested the prize should be an inverted statue erected in Paliament Square with a plaque with the name and ‘or everyone’ inscribed below.

Tomorrow night, Tuesday I am very excited to be performing at the #Klinker club, details at http://www.klinkerclub.com  Hugh Metcalf gave me one of my very first gigs there back in 2002.  It’s a gem of a club.  My uncle Peter would like it but he is like a fine red wine and doesn’t travel well.


#Tesco delivery man large enough to contain my madness on Mental Health Day. I bought nutella as a celebratory treat.

img_0530Oh what a busy day being mad with the madness that surrounds us but as usual, #Tesco delivery man came to the rescue to cheer me up.  More than I can say for QS supplies delivery man who delivered me a toilet.  He was very rude when I was just being nice, but his previous customer was rude to him and so it goes on.  There is no one here to blame, the deliveries were to come last Friday and customers are angry, delivery man is angry because he’s probably paid 0 hours contract and told me he had to pay for any wooden pallets he took back, he asked for £5 but I took them with my friend/handy man to Southwark recycling and they were really nice and I hadn’t been there before so it was really exciting and it didn’t cost me anything, just wanted to see proof of council tax and I got to see what’s called in the trade as ‘Hardcore Waste’.  The refuse man was alarmed at my over excitement and said:

“You don’t get out much”

“I don’t ” I said





My first #Tesco delivery man who has been snapped twice

img_0526After a mare of a week (re last blog) I was delighted to get back online and back into the normality of grocery shopping.  What a lovely surprise when Marco arrived with our delivery.  Marco was last here on 6th August and was very happy to pose for me in front of the asparagus #Tesco logo.  (I would like to reassure #Tesco again that these shoots take up very little time but bring a lot of pleasure to many people.)

I have now sent ‘From Essex to London in 101 boyfriends’ to a second literary agent, so far one rejection (or rather one none response).

Re 101 boyfriends.  Of course, now I am married I have no more interested in any more boyfriends (my husband is right now building a shed for the patio, too small for him to escape, he goes fishing for that)  but I still like counting.  When I was a child I used to count the paving slabs on the way to Sunday school.  Boyfriend no two is called The Sunday School Teacher.  It is befitting that with each rejection and with each delivery man I remember each boyfriend I have written about.

2 down 99 to go


No #Tesco delivery man today , too busy being a victim of cyber attack

All I have to show are old bananas and a not so chilled Liz Bentley waiting in for new bank cards and a call from the computer hospital .

Fraud line (via met police) were kind and gave out some good advice, a bit on the cbt side ie  “go to the doctors and get something to help you sleep” subtext ,’ I don’t know how to stop you crying’  and, “an old disabled woman I spoke with yesterday had £54,000 stolen”  subtext ‘think yourself lucky, there  are people far worse off than you’ , but in that moment I linked myself to that old disabled woman,  it’s the violation and abuse that sits uncomfortably , and now I’ve cried I’m angry for the loss of time and faith.

(warning – I was scammed by a bogus antivirus company who were mimmicking AVG (and an AVG technical 0800 support number)  I had been using  and trusting  for years .  Computer is having a serious expensive  4 hour operation …)

While I wait for no Tesco Delivery man I find myself analysing why my technical life is such a mess and yet the rest of my life is fairly ordered, I’m wondering whether it is linked partly to the hidden trauma of being born with a hole in my heart , then diagnosis of ms soon after it closed … I dreamt I was a baby again  on one of those old X-ray machines (they’ve  got 2 in the Wellcome museum )  being stretched like that 1950’s children’s character ‘Twizzle’ my father read us at bedtime . He scared me too. There’s one on eBay for £99 , Twizzle book not my deceased father of course.

This  incident wasn’t my fault , I was set up and rang a bogus number.  but I have learned I need to take more care of machines ,  nurture them  , and get them a well man check regularly .

My computer is a man

It’s  very yan

Just like the Tesco delivery man

There’s still only been one woman

Today’s #Tesco delivery man caught me wearing socks and sandals…

I received a tweet from Tesco about my Autumnal Tesco delivery man, they tweeted that he was looking exquisitely seasonal and included an emoji of some nuts, not the sort of nuts you buy in Tesco, more like odd shape conkers.  I replied with ‘Tesco delivery men are the best for every season’.  This could be evidence that hashtag works.

‘Hello Mr and Mrs Tesco and all your little Tesco’s.  I hope you give your delivery men (and woman) the appreciation they deserve, and the packers and the telephone staff who succumb to refunds when the delivery men (woman) get stuck in traffic.’

Daisy came in after today’s delivery and told me that for cookery classes she needed mozzarella cheese, a tin of sweetcorn and some parmesan for making pizza.  We had none in our order or in the fridge so off she’s gone to #Tesco metro, our nearest shop to buy her ingredients.

My friend told me today that the younger generation make fun out of the older generation for their misuse of hashtagging.  I really want to get this right and am contemplating going on a hashtagging course, it probably comes under the twitter course at #CityLit which is where I did the blogging course, which is why I am sat here now.

I really like the pink tippy toes on my socks, reminds me of Freud and my life’s work and interest in psychoanalysis.